Jul 08 2008
Asking for Help
Women can be stubborn. I am no exception. That means asking for help is not always easy.But with the birth of the twins right around the corner, now is the time to ask for help.
Has anyone heard of a “baby planner”? This is the neatest service I think I have ever seen or heard of. I met a woman named April Beach, owner of Sweet Pea Baby Planners (www.sweetpeababyplanners.com). She can help a pregnant mom do everything–from shopping, to looking for nannies, to designing and assembling the nursery. For first time moms, this is a great service, especially if you do not know exactly what you need. April has helped me choose between items for my registry and point me in the right direction when it comes to interviewing nannies. Plus, you get a discount at certain stores for using her service.
For busy women, those who work like me, this is the way to go to ease some stress. And at this point in my pregnancy, stress is not a good thing. Bottom line, moms and grandparents…..ask for help!
Thats what family and friends are for. If you are to busy to shop, do the nursery and interview nannies, then what are you going to do with the babies when they come. This is nothing compared tothe responsibility of taking care of a baby.
Wow! is pam judgemental? I think it’s a fantastic idea, especialy for a first time mother pregnant with twins. Having an impartial party to offer assistance will be much less stressful. Good luck, and don’t listen to people like Pam, some people are not happy unless they find away to make other people feel bad about themselves.
I”m glad you found help! To me, shopping for the baby stuff was so much fun - I enjoyed it so much I have helped many friends shop for their babies. I completely understand needing the help though - it gets tough towards the end of the pregnancy! Good Luck - You are looking great and the girls will be here before you know it!
And by the way, I agree with Katherine, Pam is judgmental - You’ll find out that everyone thinks they have the right to judge your way to raise your kids. My kids are 5 and 1 and I hear it sometimes. Someone told me I was a bad mo once for giving my son a cookie when he was good at Target because they said I was bribing him! Just ignore it! I think it is great you are getting help and I can’t wait to see the pics of your healthy baby girls!
Maybe I should make a clarification. Baby Planners such as April can do everything for a mom. This is particularly important for those placed on bed-rest. In my situation, April is acting as a guide. She has done research on everything, so when I have a question about which car seat is the safest for my child, I can turn to her. Or if I have problems breast feeding she can help me find a qualified lactation specialist to help. The idea is to make the process simple and not stressful….and that is exactly what April does.
Hi everyone,
Thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate the nice comments about my business. Dayle has done a great job explaining how I offer parents support and I would like to add a bit to it.
As a mother of three and wife a wonderful but very busy guy, I entered parenthood with lots of questions and not a lot of physical support. I, like many expecting parents, have no family in Colorado. Unfortunately, the landscape of America is changing and many of us do not live down the street from Grandma. It was imperative for me, as with other new moms, to establish a support system which I could rely on. I have taken my experiences and now am able to assist others in finding answers and assistance when needed.
To be clear, baby planners are not intended to take the place of loved ones and friends. We simply offer support customized to each unique situation. Some new moms are only looking for a prenatal massage therapist, while others are completely overwhelmed at the products available and would like help sorting through each. I offer complete unbiased consultation and empower parents to make the best decisions for themselves.
Many mothers like Dayle, work as much as possible before baby(ies) arrive, in order to spend as much time with them after. Though doing this may require them to ask for help with baby preparations. I am honored to have been able to support her and look forward to helping many parents to come. Let’s be respectful of each other and not be too quick to pass judgment. You truly don’t know what another woman is going through until you have walked there yourself. Besides… individuality in parenthood is what makes for future individual little thinkers, and a healthy next generation.
Congratulations to Dayle and family, your girls are blessed to have you as parents!
Hey Dale! Kristin Zimmerman here from LTFP. I am so excited for you. Jake came at 34 weeks and was very healthy so don’t worry yourself. Also I am pregnant again! Reguarding Aprils business, I know how hard it is with one baby and having complications I can’t imagine twins, and I think her services are a great resource for new moms or mothers of multiples. Good luch and lots of love,Kristin
Do what makes you and your husband happy!!! If it is less stress for you then go for it. You have enough on your plate working fulltime and twins on the way. Follow your heart because it is your life and no one can live it for you!!!
Dayle,
I’m not sure what Pam’s motivation for her comment, but I don’t think she was off target either. At some point in time you’ll need to slow down and take care of the twins and make decisions that will affect their lives every day - even if you have a full time nanny! The decisions don’t stop with “what prenatal massage therapist is best?” and won’t stop for a very very long time.
My first thought when I read your blog was “product placement”. I’ve never heard of a baby planner, and now with local celebrities doing it, it will become the rage that soon-to-be-mom’s will attempt to keep up with instead of saving their money for other things.
If you can afford a baby planner, its sounds wonderful. But plugging the service in your blog is a disservice to all the soon-to-be-mommy’s that really can’t afford it. The information on what to buy and what you need to know is on thousands of websites for free. My husband and I both worked, yet we managed to plan for our son without any help.
My husband was some use - but he went back to work 4 days after our child was born because we could not afford both of us on leave. However my mom was the greatest help and still is. I was afraid if I asked for help I was a failure as a mom. However once I asked for help (even just 10 minutes so I could take a shower) I learned I was a better mom to my child. This blog has been fun and brings back so many memories. I wish you the best. BTW - worry about not liking the name. Your child has to live with it forever. Maybe you should take the first names and give your husband the middle name - that is what we did.
Hello Dayle,
Believe it or not, I have enjoyed your blog, even though I am single and have no children. I just enjoyed reading it. I think if one wants a baby planner, life planner, wedding planner; then go for it. We are free to choose how we want to live our lives. My only comment is that a baby planner is probably not inexpensive - and there are many, many women who can’t afford one who may really need it. As a gift in your or your twins name, a few of your frineds or family could go together and pay April’s fee - and find a pregnant woman who really needs her help, maybe through a charity. It’s just a thought. Many Blessings to you and your family.
I think as women we do a horrible job of judging each other’s actions and decisions. If a woman wants to utilize a baby planner, like she might other services she needs help with, then by all means, go for it! Life is too short to try to be Superwoman (and believe me, I’ve tried and its not possible).
As the mother to two little boys and one on the way, trust me, there’s more to mothering than doing all the prep work or reading all the free websites out there brimming with information. Sure a baby planner can do a lot for you but there will be many a time when being a “good mother” is all you.
And as for new moms will think that they need to “keep up with Jones” when it comes to hiring a baby planner, even if they can’t afford it, I think we should give them a little more credit.
At the end of the day, being a good parent is the sum of MANY parts. If getting a little help here and there helps you get to the end goal, a wonderful child(ren), then isn’t that what we’re all aiming for?